Rethinking Rejection in Acting
Why rejection isn’t failure—it’s a filter guiding you to what’s truly yours.
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In this industry, rejection isn’t an occasional visitor—it’s part of your daily landscape.
But here’s the truth: rejection is not a verdict on your talent. More often than not, it’s about variables you’ll never see.
Maybe the ensemble needs a different dynamic.
Maybe the producer is loyal to someone they’ve worked with before.
Maybe it comes down to bankability, budgets, or something as arbitrary as height next to the lead.
You can’t control any of that. What you can control is how you handle the moment after.
Why Silence Is a Gift
Rejection stings when you think of it as the end of something. But what if it’s not an ending at all? What if every “no” is just a re-direction, steering you toward what was always meant to be yours?
This industry rarely tells you when you don’t book a role — and that’s a blessing. In a corporate job, rejection emails pile up in your inbox like paper cuts. Acting spares you that. No notifications, no explanations—just silence.
Imagine if casting emailed you every time to say, “Unfortunately, we’ve chosen someone else.” Would you really want dozens of those in your inbox every month? It’s just negative energy—draining, discouraging, and unnecessary. Sometimes silence is mercy.
And that silence isn’t empty. It allows you to release the moment and keep your focus forward. It’s a reminder to move on, to protect your energy, and to stay ready for the next opportunity.
The Professional’s Mindset
Michael Keaton once said in an interview:
“I never looked at an audition as an audition again … I looked at it like: Oh, I have a job. Here’s my job. I have a script. I went to work. If I was only there 25 minutes, when I left, I was getting off work. So I said, ‘It doesn’t matter if I got the job. I already got the job.’”
When I first heard that, it stayed with me. It reframes auditions not as tests but as work you can own. You walk in, do your job, and when you walk out, the work is done. That’s powerful.
For me, during theatre school we were told something similar but in a different way: you’re going out there to play. Auditions were framed as performance, as fun, as a chance to do what we love in front of an audience. That idea stuck too. If acting is your craft and your passion, then every audition is both the work and the play.
Once you’ve done the work—whether that means sending in your self-tape or walking into the room—and delivered your choices, the job is complete. Whether you book or not is out of your hands.
The most seasoned actors don’t collapse after rejection because they’ve trained themselves to pivot. The focus goes right back to their goals, their craft, their next task. Just like any professional, the job is to show up, do the work, then continue with the day. Audition, then tackle your list. That’s discipline.
Making It Second Nature
Back when I first started auditioning, I made it a rule to always have something lined up right after. Sometimes it was as simple as stopping at a coffee shop for my favorite drink, sometimes tackling an errand, sometimes diving into another project. The point was to divert my mind so I wouldn’t spiral into replaying the audition.
Over time, it became second nature: the audition is simply a task in my day — part of the job, something I show up for, enjoy, and then move past. Once I’ve prepared, delivered my choices, and sent in the tape, I move on to the next thing — whether that’s another audition, a writing project, or something in my personal life.
At first, I had to train myself to do this consciously: deliberately shifting my focus right after an audition. But eventually, it became a habit. Now it’s automatic. The moment I hit “send,” I’m already thinking about the next project or task.
And here’s the irony: when you stop clinging, things start to move. I can’t count the times I’ve been surprised by a callback because I’d already forgotten about the audition. That’s the magic — your energy shifts from chasing approval to creating, improving, and investing in yourself.
That’s something every actor can practice. Treat your audition as part of your workday, then let it go. When you do, you not only protect your energy, you also create the space for unexpected “yeses” to arrive.
I’m not the only one who’s learned this lesson. Kaniettiio Horn and I went to the same theatre school — I was a year ahead of her. After we’d both graduated, we were talking about auditions, and she told me, “The minute you don’t care, that’s when you start booking.” That line stuck with me ever since.
She didn’t mean not caring about the work. She meant not walking into the room desperate to be chosen. When you release the pressure to impress, you free yourself to just be. You show up, bring the work you’ve prepared, stay open to direction, and then you move on.
That’s when casting sees the real you. Confident, grounded, not begging for approval. And that’s often the energy that books.
The Metaphor of the Door
Think of opportunities like doors. You might come across the same door twice, convinced that this time you’ll walk through it. You change your approach, you knock differently, you push harder—yet the door still doesn’t open.
Why? Because it was never your door.
Some doors are closed for reasons you’ll never see. Timing, financing, politics, someone else’s track record—all invisible to you. You could do everything right and still find it locked. That doesn’t mean you failed. It means there’s another door waiting, one that will swing open the second you arrive, because it was yours all along.
Concrete Strategies for Emotional Recovery
Shift Your Energy Immediately
The second you leave an audition or submitted your self-tape, assign yourself a new focus for the day. A call to make. A scene to rehearse. A personal goal to chip away at. This stops your mind from circling the “what ifs.”Don’t Chase Ghosts
Stop imagining how you could’ve done it differently. That’s like replaying a conversation with someone who isn’t in the room anymore. It drains energy you need for the next opportunity.Build a Ritual of Continuity
Have something you do every single time after an audition. Go for a walk, write in your journal, or check a task off your list. This consistency teaches your brain: the audition isn’t the cliff—it’s just another step in the path.Rejection as Data, Not Judgment
Think like a scientist. Each audition is feedback, even if you don’t hear notes. Which offices are calling you back? Which types of roles are recurring? That’s data pointing you toward where you’re most likely to break through.Redefine What Rejection Really Is
Most actors think rejection happens after the audition. But in truth, the bigger rejection often happens earlier—when you don’t even get the audition. With self-tapes, casting directors now receive far more submissions than they ever could when everything was in person—sometimes thousands for a single role. From that pool, they narrow it down to the select few they actually want to audition. Competition is higher than ever, which makes every audition you land a blessing. Out of those hundreds or even thousands of submissions, they chose you. That’s already a win. And if you’re not getting auditions yet, that doesn’t mean you’re failing. It means your focus should be on building the materials and network that get you in the room. Think of it like publicity: a publicist might send a press release to dozens of outlets, but only a few will pick it up. Even when you’re not selected, every submission builds momentum. It strengthens the habit of putting yourself out there and keeps you moving forward until the door opens.
Remember Casting Wants You to Win
It’s easy to believe casting directors are gatekeepers waiting to turn you down. In reality, they’re hoping the next tape they open is the one. They want you to be the solution that makes their job easier. Every time you self-tape or step into a room, you’re not an outsider begging for approval—you’re a candidate they genuinely hope might be the answer.
The Deeper Truth
Earlier, I reframed rejection as not even getting the audition. But let’s go one step deeper. Rejection—whether it comes before or after an audition—also shapes who we become.
Rejection teaches you two things: resilience and faith.
Resilience—the ability to get back up without losing your spark.
Faith—the belief that what’s yours cannot pass you by.
You can’t hack rejection out of this business. But you can transform your relationship to it. The “no’s” aren’t failures. They’re filters. They remove what doesn’t belong so that when the “yes” arrives, you’ll know it was never random.
It was always meant for you.
Of course, the best way to keep your mind off rejection is to stay focused on what’s next. Having a system in place makes all the difference. That’s why I created the Actor Operating System (AOS)—a framework to track auditions, callbacks, goals, and progress. It keeps you grounded and inspired, even on the toughest days. You can check it out here: Actor Operating System Course and Template — and if you’ve already taken the course, you can grab your AOS template here: Actor Operating System Template.
✨ If this resonated with you, know that rejection—and how you respond to it—is just one piece of the bigger actor’s journey. Inside Cast Forward Premium, we go deeper into the strategies that keep you moving when the industry feels unmovable.
Because rejection isn’t the end. It’s proof that you’re still in the game.
Coming Up Next on Cast Forward
Missed last week’s article on breaking down a scene? It’s one of my deepest technical guides yet, walking you step by step through Steven Lecky’s Vox Method and the best tools I’ve studied. If you want to sharpen your audition prep, go back and read it.
Here’s what’s on the way:
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